Can You Help These Kids?

What are your New Year's resolutions? Have you given thought to your charitable contributions?

I would like to ask you to consider a very deserving family. Please browse through my website by clicking Here and consider the way that you can help by clicking Here.

Here is a brief overview:

Following Hurricane Katrina we met a family at a shelter where we volunteered. We made friends. We spent hours playing with the kids, and fell in love with them. A month later we got them setteled in their new home. A few weeks later, the mom left with the kids, running back to her parents. We thought we would never see them again. But they came back.

A few months later she took the kids and went back to New Orleans. Once again, we thought we would never see them again. A few weeks later the kids were back with their step-father, although the mom chose to stay in New Orleans, choosing to live on the streets with her friends and her beer.

The Step-father is 70 years old, and while he is not the biological dad, he loves these children dearly. He is willing to give them a good home and teach them how to live above poverty.

We will do anything in our power to keep this family together. The dad's income is Social Security and Disability. The Disability denies him having any type of job, even one that he could do. But of course, the Disability pay is not enough for even one person to live on.

A recent illness reminded us that the Dad may not be able to raise these kids indefinitely. The kids spend every weekend with us and more, and they look to us as "co-parents" with their Father. We wish we were rich, but we are not. Adding on a room so that the kids don't have to sleep on the floor and have a feeling of stability has become our priority.

We are so thankful for all those who have donated cash, clothing and household items. Due to their generosity, we have been able to keep this family in a home with their basic needs met. But we know that the cost of raising 4 kids will only increase, while Dad's income will not.

So often we have asked ourselves these questions: Why did we happen to volunteer at this shelter? Why did this family happen to be there? Why did we form a friendship with them that resulted in our "Sponsorship" of this family? Why did the Mom send the kids back?

All we can think is that God has big plans for these kids! He has worked very hard to bring them back to their Step-Father and to us. It seems to me that we must continue this mission, no matter how hard it may be at times. These kids deserve the chance to live a life free of fear and with dreams for the future.

We have the opportunity to save these children from a life of alcohol, drugs and abuse that comes with living on the streets. What could be more important?

Can you help us in our journey? You can be assured that every dollar is used wisely to provide for the basic needs of the family. Our goal is to keep them in a home, provide heat and a/c, and make sure that they have what they need to live. Funds are used to provide the basics and fill in the items that are not donated.

Here is the link to the donation page on my website - Click Here!

Here are some things to think about:

Billions of dollars were donated to large agencies following Hurricane Katrina. These funds were meant to go to the people affected. It did not get to them.

Rebuilding in New Orleans is being done in a large part by very dedicated volunteers. There are many who cannot return to their homes. They are scattered across the country and left to fend for themselves. Their only choice was to turn to the communities that took them in, but the people of the communities had already sent their donations to the large agencies.

Not only were homes lost, families were torn apart. Family dynamics change, leaving parents disoriented and children bewildered. Learning to recognize the symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome has been an eye-opening experience for us. It can knock a person down until they can't function. A 5 year old boy draws a picture for his therapist of a house built on stilts so that the water can't come in. A 10 year old girl cannot enjoy being a little girl because she has to take care of everyone, making sure they are ok. Time does not heal everything!

Please give the kids a chance!

Stephanie

The Prayers of a Child

To understand how amazing Marquel's prayers are, I must first tell you of her background.

Born in New Orleans, she was the 5th child of an alcoholic mother. An older brother had already died of neglect not long before she was born. Another sister and brother would be added by the time Marquel was 5 years old.

Her mother could not hold a job, had no real desire to have one, and would do anything for her beer. The one room apartment had a bed with a filthy mattress, but no sheets. There were no clothes to wear. While mom was naked with some man, the kids were naked as well.

Hard to envision, isn't it? What horrors little Marquel must have witnessed and been subjected to.

At the age of 5, along with her sisters and new baby brother, she went to live with her mom's new boyfriend, Roosevelt. Having a bed and clothes to wear must have seemed like heaven.

After their evacuation to San Antonio, mom could not begin a new life, so she ran off to New Orleans. Marquel now lives here with Roosevelt, her younger sister and 2 brothers.

At the age of 10, Marquel amazes us with her desire to live a "normal" middle class life. She saves her money diligently so that she can go to college one day. She soaks in all the friends and people in our life that she can look up to and admire.

Her tightly held shell is slowly cracking and she lets us into her thoughts a little more all the time. She is beginning to trust us enough to ask us for help with her inner struggles.

Every night she prays. Her prayers touch us deeply.

Lord, please send your angels to watch over us
Please send your angels to watch over my Father
Please keep him safe and well
I love you, Lord
Lord, please send your angels to be with ...(and she goes on to list everyone who has been an "Angel" to her)
Lord, please send your angels to be with everyone I know, and everyone I will know
I love you, Lord
Lord, please keep us safe

Her only request for herself is for the angels to be sent to watch over her.

A few weeks ago her father became very ill while Marquel was at our house. Not knowing what else to do to calm the kids fears, I asked them if they wanted to say a prayer for their Father. We did, and I put the kids to bed with a movie to watch, hoping that they would be able to go to sleep.

After a few minutes I noticed that Marquel had her hands folded tight. Soon she was up on her knees, hands folded and face turned upwards.

Where does this child get her faith? What great things does God have in His plans for her?

The kids spend most weekends with us. We go to church. We spend time with friends. We pray before meals and we ask the kids if they want to pray at bedtime. If they don't it is ok. We don't force "religion," we just let them soak up what is around them.

Please keep Marquel in your prayers, as she is including you in hers!

Stephanie

New Christmas Adventures

What a great Christmas we and the kids had together! Their Father wanted to go to New Orleans to visit his family, so we took the kids with us to Nebraska to visit Randy's family.

Generous gifts of books and DVD's came in very handy on the 14 hour car ride. When we stopped in Kansas to eat lunch, we got to have our first "ball fight with snow" as Annie put it. The look on Charlie's face when I picked up some snow and tossed it at him was priceless. The initial look of irritation quickly turned to a mixture of surprise and delight.

Arriving at Randy's sister's house, the kids jumped out and ran into the snow. Not really dressed for this, Charlie soon came back crying because his feet were so cold. The snow was deep enough to fall into his boots, so he took his boots off, and well, that didn't work too well!

Randy took Marquel with him to pick up the flowers for his mom's birthday party. Marquel had taken note of Deb's nativity set, and spotted more figurines in the shop. She picked up a little dark skinned angel who was holding a heart out in her hands and asked if she could buy it for Deb. Then she reached up on a shelf for another one. Randy helped her get it down and realized that it was a mother and daughter, reaching their arms towards each other. She wanted to get that one for me. It was very touching to receive this special gift from my new "daughter".

Chip made us all laugh when he put himself in time out. I had scolded him for getting M&M's out of Bryce's candy dispenser. He followed me up the stairs, walked down the hall and sat down. When I realized what he was doing, we all had a good chuckle.

Getting ready to spend some time in the cold and snow, I told the kids to put on the layers of pants, shirts and socks that I had packed for them. They thought I was really crazy! But when they came in, they said they were glad because they had stayed warm.

Randy's sister is a grade school teacher, so Deb went to the school to look through the lost and found for boots and snow pants for the kids. They came back all outfitted and ready for hours in the cold. They looked so cute all bundled up. The kids went down the hill behind Deb's house on their saucers, then ran back up the steep hill, over and over and over. After 4 or 5 hours, Deb would coax them to come inside. What a treat this was for the kids.

They learned to play Mexican Train Dominoes, and Annie was the champion as she figured out the strategy really quickly. I thought to myself that the kids Dora Dominoes that I had bought them as a Christmas present might be a little boring after playing the real thing!

One night as we played dominoes, Charlie got tired and curled up on the couch. Randy reminded him to say his prayers, and 5 year old Charlie recited the Lord's prayer perfectly all by himself. Deb had tears running down her face by the time he finished.

Dear friends Mardi and Gerry had told the kids to ask the Guaradian Angels to go with us on our trip. Each night the kids asked God to send the angels to watch over them, and to be with everyone they knew, naming them one by one.

Mardi told the kids the Christmas story in an animated, entertaining way. Each time we passed a nativity set, the kids would comment on what was missing - the angels or the shephards or the rich men who brought presents. They thoroughly enjoyed retelling the story.
There were so many new experiences; "Grandma" Ehmen's 90th birthday party at the nursing home, Christmas with Randy's brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews and all their kids, Deb and friend Cec helping the girls with their workbooks, hiding eggs and hunting them with cousin Dianne, and Charlie got to drive cousin Jr.'s really BIG farm tractor! Everyone doted on them and had great fun. What wonderful family time the kids got to experience for the first time. We hope we gave them some good memories.

We have lots of new Angels to add to our list. Click here to see pictures

A HUGE thank you to all who helped "our kids" have a wonderful Christmas!

Until next time

Stephanie

Charlie and Time Out

Poor little Charlie. He has had such a hard time learning to behave. Yesterday someone asked him how old he was and he replied "15".

Yes, 5 going on 15!

His Kindergarten teacher is amazed at how smart he is, but because he talks incessently and likes to be the class clown, he comes home every day with a Red Face. We told him that when he came home with a Green Face for behaving well, we would celebrate. Last week he got 2 green faces!!

After months of trying every form of punishment we could think of, Charlie's counselor gave us a few hints on Time Out. There had been weekends at our house when he was in Time Out more than not, but the new methods seem to be working better.

Last night I sat in the yard swing with Annie and Charlie came along with a worm to tease Annie with. I asked Charlie if that was a nice thing or a mean thing, and he agreed that it was mean. I didn't have the timer handy for Time Out, so I let him go back to his play.

About 10 minutes later, Charlie came back and handed me the timer.

"What is this for?" I asked him.

"Because I teased Annie with the worm," he replied.

"So you think you need Time Out?" I asked him.

"Yes" he said, quite seriously.

"OK then, sit on that bench" I told him as I set the timer.

He sat there quietly until the timer rang, and as I sat there continuing my conversation with Annie, I couldn't believe what had just transpired.

Prior to the new Time Out techniques, we would send Charlie to a place in the hall, where he would sit until we let him up. We did not have a set amount of time, and when he got up we would talk to him about what he had done wrong. When we asked "what did you do wrong", he would tell us. When we asked "what should you have done", he would tell us. He knew what was right, he just couldn't make himself do it. Then we would give hugs and send him off to apologize and give hugs to whomever he had offended.

The counselor suggested that we send him to Time Out without talking about what he did wrong - he knew exactly what he had done wrong. Then we set timer - one of those old fashioned kind that you can hear ticking - for 5 minutes (one minute of each year of age).

If he fusses or messes around, we say "because you are not sitting quietly, I have to start the time over", and we set the timer back to 5 minutes. When the timer rings, he knows he can get up and go again.

Now, the counselor warned us that at first he would resist the new procedures, and boy was she right! Such simple little changes threw a wrench into his plan. He knew he would no longer get the hugs and extended attention that discussing what he had done wrong would bring. For the first couple of weeks he fussed and messed around, something he had not done previously.

After a couple of weeks he adjusted to the new routine, although he occasionally finds something to play with and suffers the consequences of having the timer re-started.

We really appreciate Charlie's Kindergarten teacher. She is patiently working with him and with us as we work on Charlie's behavior. All his little life has been nothing but trauma, but with the help of his teachers and counselors, a stable home environment and the love and affection of so many people, Charlie is coming around.

A couple of weeks ago, when Charlie came home with yet another Red Face, Randy asked him what he had done.

"They were doing numbers, and I already know my numbers," Charlie said. Yes, there may be times that he is a little ahead of the other kids in his class. But, he has to learn to control himself. If he does not learn now, it will be harder to learn as he grows older.

Charlie is so smart that he will be able to do anything he sets his mind to. If he can learn self-control now, he will have a much brighter future.

Thank you, Miss Catherine, for being another Angel to Charlie!

Stephanie

California vs. New Orleans

Watching the news of the California fires, I cannot imagine the horrible feelings that must come with seeing your home in ashes, along with all your personal treasures and memories. The further scope of whole neighborhoods and the destruction that fire leaves behind must be absolutely devastating. My heart goes out to all of those who go "home" to face this horrible scene.

Listening to the politicians and news commentators has stirred some emotions in me, and I am sure in others as well. Our close association with a family from New Orleans has given us an insight into what really happened in New Orleans and the politicians and politics involved.

How can anyone in any possible way, draw parallels with the San Diego and other California fires, with what happened in New Orleans and the response by local, state and federal entities?

Here are some of my thoughts:

Will the insurance companies rule that the homes in California were destroyed by something other than fire? Following Katrina, it was wind damage vs. water damage - whichever one the insurance company conveniently did not cover.

Did California offer evacuation methods to those who could not get out by themselves? At last count there are 8 people from 2 immigrant worker camps who died in California. Were these people offered a way out? Or were they "overlooked"? Sure is ironic how quickly they discovered the bodies after not knowing they were there (or did they?).

The Republicans say that Governor Blanco did not ask for help. I remember clearly seeing and hearing her on TV in the days following Katrina, in tears begging for help.

Even if the Governor Blanco had not asked for assistance, does the Federal Government have no heart? There was no possible way for them to override the state and get help to people stranded in New Orleans? Let's be real!

Did California, FEMA, and the Bush administration learn lessons from Katrina? Or is there simply a different attitude towards people who live in mansions in Malibu vs. working class black people who lived in New Orleans?

How much did politics play in these two disasters? Did a Republican governor use the disaster as an opportunity as a photo op with the President? While a Republican administration balked at looking like they might be cooperating with a Democrat in Louisiana?

Who paid for all the massages, acupuncture, TV's, internet availability, etc, etc, etc, in San Diego? Where have all those people been disbursed to? Who is paying for their boarding until the insurance companies annie up?

The people in the Superdome in New Orleans only wanted water, food, a bathroom, and a way out through the floodwaters. They had no desire for acupuncture and no expectations of anything more than survival.

While we may not be privy to all the details and all the plays of politics, the end results are very clear. When we have a disaster of any magnitude there is no room for politics.

This country must come together. We cannot afford to be "Red" or "Blue". Who cares what "political colored party" I belong to - this is a country of human beings, and no one human being is more important than another.

Just yesterday someone commented to us that "all those people in the 9th Ward of New Orleans were on welfare". So, does that include Fats Domino? His home is in the 9th Ward. Who owned all those 350,000 or so homes that were under water? Why don't people want to take the time to learn the facts?

There is a major man-hunt to find the culprits who set the fires in California. Who is being held responsible for the levies that had not been maintained?

Who is propagating all the mis-information and prejudice? Is it all those idiots on the radio who spew hatred over the airwaves? Or the naive people listening who think these radio show hosts are really telling them the truth? Or the politicians who say one thing and do another (as if we aren't watching!)? Or is it that we really aren't watching and paying attention and seeking out the truth. Are we so hypnotized by the media and the government that we believe everything we hear?


Just some things to think about - - and another blog you might like to read: http://organizedrage.blogspot.com/2007/10/tale-of-two-cities-and-vicious-class.html

Stephanie

Halloween is almost here!

Last year was the first time that the kids had Halloween costumes and experienced the fun of Trick-or-Treating. They were a little shy about it at first, but this year they are plotting and planning already.

I scoured ebay for some inexpensive costumes as they have grown so much they have outgrown last year's outfits.

More 2006 pictures: Chip Annie Marquel Charlie

This year, Marquel wants a Princess dress, Anthonyione wants a "new" witch outfit, Charlie wants to be Spiderman, and Chip is getting a Tigger costume. Our little town of Bulverde has an all day Halloween event on October 27th, the neighbors are having a party that evening, and our church is hosting a Trunk-or-Treat for the kids on Sunday.

Check back for pictures from this year's festivities!

What else has been happening recently?

Chip is starting to talk really well. Sometimes he surprises himself by getting the words out clearly. After 2 years of carefull study and observation of his brother and sisters, he is ready to roll!

Charlie's Kindergarten teacher is amazed at how smart he is. Even when it seems he is not paying attention, he can repeat what she just said (one of those survival techniques we have noticed with all 3 of the older kids). He talks incessently and has a hard time sitting still, but slowly we see progress as he calms down and learns to control himself.

Annie loves to learn. She has a stack of 2nd grade workbooks that she works on constantly. First thing in the morning she gets them out, and I have to take them away from her at night so she will go to sleep. She would rather do that than watch Disney Channel, and if she is punished by not being able to play on the computer, the books are her next favorite thing.

Marquel is really catching up fast on her studies. She is a little behind in reading and reading comprehension, but we had another Angel come to our aid! A neighbor is an English teacher and offered to tutor Marquel. Thank you, Margaret, we will take you up on this offer!

Turk turned 70 on October 2nd (although he really doesn't want everyone to know that!!) He took the 7 and 0 candles off his cake and replaced them with 3 regular candles. The 3 candles represent Past, Present and Future. We think this is a nice tradition!

Every Friday I drive across town to take them to their counseling. It makes for a long day, but I feel it is very worth it. The Post Traumatic Stress is a very serious thing, and we cannot assume that they will get better on their own. If we want to give them the best future possible, it has to be confronted and overcome (as much as possible) now. These kids will never forget what they have seen and lived through, but hopefully by giving them some coping mechanisms, they can learn to live with the sights and sounds that replay in their minds. Turk says that Marquel in particular will say "Dad, remember . . ." and recount a memory that she has. I encouraged Turk to talk it over with her, to reassure the kids and to help them all talk through the grief and loss that they have experienced.

Until next time . . .

Stephanie

2 TV Interviews on 2nd Anniversary of Katrina

August 29th, 2007, the 2nd anniversary of Hurricane Katrina, I was invited to give a live interview on San Antonio's KABB Fox 29 Morning Show! Thank you JT and Kimberly for a really nice job!

A huge thank-you to Miseal Gomez from San Antonio's KSAT 12, the local ABC affiliate. We met Miseal on the first anniversary of Katrina, when Family Services arranged an interview for the evening news. Over the past year, Miseal has kept in touch with Mr. Thornton, and we have had the pleasure of meeting his wife and two beautiful girls.

We were honored that Miseal came out again this year to do a follow up story, and very pleased with the way the story was presented. It was featured on the 5:00 news, immediately following Oprah's Katrina anniversary show.

I feel we were given a great gift with this publicity, and know that good things will come from it!

See both interviews by clicking here: http://eagleswingspublications.com/01a_video.html (if you have a dial-up connection, it will take a very long time for the videos to download)

Enjoy!
Stephanie